OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
