You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
