Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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