is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
