Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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