i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
