It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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