Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
