You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
