I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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