$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
