So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
