So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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