Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
