She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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