Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You dont lie about slip and slides
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize