She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize