Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
