like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
