once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
