Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
