And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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