So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Redeem this text for a blowjob
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
