I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
