yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
