I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
