i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
