I hate your face
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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