ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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