I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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