he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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