Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize