she woke up with a sticky ear
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
