Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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