If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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