I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
