but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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