I CAN MOONWALK!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
