I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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