Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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