Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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