Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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