I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
