I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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