I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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