Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Randomize
