I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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