are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
