Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
