? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize