11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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