it was like his penis was on wheels.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
