the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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