Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
