i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
