ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
