I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize