Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
