Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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