Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize