i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Randomize
