jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
