i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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